My son’s school had a dance on Friday night. Since he has aspergers and doesn’t always do well with loud music, I wasn’t planning to bring him to such a stimulating event; however, he wanted to go, so we gave it a try. We brought ear plugs just in case he needed them, but he never used them.
He found 3 of his friends and they spent the whole night running around and interacting! Victory Number 1!
About half way through they were playing a game that had the potential for someone to get hurt, so I asked my son to stop. After 2 requests, he did stop, but was very sad. By himself, he removed himself from the situation and sat down at a table in the hall. He spent some time alone and at first he did not want help, but after a little while he asked for my help. He sat on my lap and cried a little to get over the sadness, but then stopped and ran back to play with his friends for the rest of the night! Victory number 2. There was not yelling, hitting, kicking, throwing, just positive choices to calm himself! For him to be able to do this in such a stimulating environment and after a few weeks of daily meltdowns at home and a few at school, this is a major victory!
I am so proud of him and just had to share! This is one of the unexpected struggles of being a single parent; not having another adult who loves your child as much as you to share their accomplishments with. Luckily I talk to my mom daily, so she gets to share it all.
We seem to be on the upswing from the daily tantrums. I think the meltdowns were partially triggered by a growth spurt and reorganization of the brain that is commonly said to happen around birthdays and half birthdays, but he has also found motivation in wanting to earn some rewards. He wanted to start using his chore and behavior chart again, so reminding him of this can now often motivate him to find another way calm himself instead of with meltdowns.